"Hello! you have reached the voicemail of Effie Trinket. I am unavailable at present, so please leave your name and your number and I will be delighted to return your call."
Saul Goodman, we are having this conversation because there is someone else you care about more than me, and obviously want to be with more.
When all this is over, you are going to her. You will cry on her shoulder. She will comfort you, and you will tell yourself that it was hard but you made the right decision. You're not losing anything you didn't willingly give away.
[ Effie wouldn't directly tell him how much pain she was in. He already taken advantage of her vulnerability, she wouldn't make the same mistake twice. This situation only existed because she had been foolish enough to trust him.
Suddenly she was angry she hadn't worn makeup or done her hair, dressed herself to the nines so that it didn't feel like so much of her was visible to him. ]
I hope you're happy together, or you'll have caused all this mess for nothing. How embarrassing for both of us.
[If he weren't suddenly so keen on covering his own ass and keeping the details of this whole mess on the down low, what Effie just said would have made him laugh. Yeah, he's gonna go running to Steph as soon as this is all over, and everything will be sunshine and rainbows.
Instead, it's the bitterness that shines through, and Saul rolls his eyes.]
I'm saying what I'm saying because I don't think it's fair to you. I should've realized that sooner. But what I mean isn't this, this conversation we're having — I mean all of this, from the being here at all to the falling in love and actually having someone love me back.
[Two people, actually.
He huffs a breath out of his nose and looks off to the side.]
That's the part that's not easy. So don't try to act like this means I never cared about you — I do. A lot. Whether you believe me or not is up to you, but you're not doing anyone any favors by convincing yourself otherwise.
I'm terribly sorry this is all so difficult for you, Saul.
How selfish of me to not think of your feelings.
[ She narrows her eyes at him, arms folding protectively across her chest.
She didn't want to hear his explanations or excuses. More than anything she just wanted him to leave so she could recover from the shock and just let herself cry.
The expression on her pale face said what she didn't, her gaze cool and detached. Men like Saul could accuse her of being self-centred all they wanted, but the truth was that if Effie didn't look out for herself no one else would.
At least in the Capitol there was no question that people didn't trust one another, people admired and desired love but no one was really expected to engage in such reckless behaviour when secrets and unpatriotic sympathies could have you killed.
True love belonged in fairy tales and dreams, she had been a fool to believe it. ]
It doesn't matter how you feel, or I feel- you've obviously made your decision.
I don't know what more you want from me, but if that's all you've come here to say... you may go.
[This is not a conversation he wants to have. Not now, not ever, and especially not with her.
He doesn't think he should be angry about any of this. That's her territory right now, but he is; he's pissed off that she's apparently brushed off the part where he said he's in love with her, too. Doesn't that count for anything?]
I never said anything about a decision!
[Saul knows he doesn't have to say anything, though. He knows how obvious it is. What he doesn't know is why he's pushing this.]
[ That takes her off-guard and she looks startled for a moment, eyes slightly wide and pink lips parted. When she looks at him again there is still anger and hurt in her eyes, but combined with something even more volatile and dangerous- hope.
Effie had immediately assumed that his admission had also been their closure, would he have told her otherwise? ]
Then what is it, Saul?
Did you simply come here to tell me you're in love with two women, and don't plan on choosing either one... or did you come to apologize, and stay the night?
[ She was offering him something he likely didn't deserve, but it was better than being hurt and certainly better than being alone. Effie wasn't perfect, she had done many things in her life she had come to regret... It would be hypocritical to not accept failure or misjudgement in others. ]
[It's so, so tempting to say yes. It'd be so easy. One syllable, and Effie might not hate him as much as she wanted to a few seconds ago, and neither of them would have to be alone.
But —
Saul sighs, lifts a hand to his forehead, pushes his hair back and away. He knows as surely as he's known anything that if it ever came down to it, he'd choose Stephanie every time. So really, he can say he hasn't made a decision, but that's bullshit.]
[ Somehow Effie had known he would say that, or something similar. She simply sits back and looks at Saul evenly.
It wasn't fair. She wanted to ask him who it was, why he had chosen them- why she hadn't been good enough. He had ruined her concept of love, which was something whole that couldn't be undermined or lesser in any way. You couldn't love two people, not really. You couldn't give all of yourself to someone and still have enough leftover to be tempted by another.
Effie had been foolhardy to allow herself to feel this way over a man she had only just met, in a place like this. It was a lesson better learned sooner than later, and the wound would be a reminder to never let such a thing happen again.
She didn't need any of these people, and they didn't need her. Life would continue as it always had and looking out only for herself would be so much easier. At least that's what she told herself. ]
And it's Ms.Trinket to you, Mr.Goodman.
Now if you don't mind, it's very late and I should like to get some sleep after all this unpleasantry.
[Saul doesn't think there's a snowball's chance in hell for he and Steph to ever become anything more than whatever it is they are now, but she told him she loved him only a few hours ago and he believes her.
Hope really is dangerous.
He opens his mouth to say something else — anything else, anything to convince her that he really didn't mean to hurt her the way he has — but instead he stands, smoothing down his shirt.]
Yeah. I'll see you around.
[And if that's it, if that's really it, he's just going to see himself out.]
no subject
Date: 2013-09-27 09:49 pm (UTC)Saul Goodman, we are having this conversation because there is someone else you care about more than me, and obviously want to be with more.
When all this is over, you are going to her. You will cry on her shoulder. She will comfort you, and you will tell yourself that it was hard but you made the right decision. You're not losing anything you didn't willingly give away.
[ Effie wouldn't directly tell him how much pain she was in. He already taken advantage of her vulnerability, she wouldn't make the same mistake twice. This situation only existed because she had been foolish enough to trust him.
Suddenly she was angry she hadn't worn makeup or done her hair, dressed herself to the nines so that it didn't feel like so much of her was visible to him. ]
I hope you're happy together, or you'll have caused all this mess for nothing. How embarrassing for both of us.
no subject
Date: 2013-09-28 02:17 am (UTC)Instead, it's the bitterness that shines through, and Saul rolls his eyes.]
I'm saying what I'm saying because I don't think it's fair to you. I should've realized that sooner. But what I mean isn't this, this conversation we're having — I mean all of this, from the being here at all to the falling in love and actually having someone love me back.
[Two people, actually.
He huffs a breath out of his nose and looks off to the side.]
That's the part that's not easy. So don't try to act like this means I never cared about you — I do. A lot. Whether you believe me or not is up to you, but you're not doing anyone any favors by convincing yourself otherwise.
no subject
Date: 2013-09-28 03:17 am (UTC)How selfish of me to not think of your feelings.
[ She narrows her eyes at him, arms folding protectively across her chest.
She didn't want to hear his explanations or excuses. More than anything she just wanted him to leave so she could recover from the shock and just let herself cry.
The expression on her pale face said what she didn't, her gaze cool and detached. Men like Saul could accuse her of being self-centred all they wanted, but the truth was that if Effie didn't look out for herself no one else would.
At least in the Capitol there was no question that people didn't trust one another, people admired and desired love but no one was really expected to engage in such reckless behaviour when secrets and unpatriotic sympathies could have you killed.
True love belonged in fairy tales and dreams, she had been a fool to believe it. ]
It doesn't matter how you feel, or I feel- you've obviously made your decision.
I don't know what more you want from me, but if that's all you've come here to say... you may go.
no subject
Date: 2013-09-29 04:09 pm (UTC)He doesn't think he should be angry about any of this. That's her territory right now, but he is; he's pissed off that she's apparently brushed off the part where he said he's in love with her, too. Doesn't that count for anything?]
I never said anything about a decision!
[Saul knows he doesn't have to say anything, though. He knows how obvious it is. What he doesn't know is why he's pushing this.]
no subject
Date: 2013-09-29 09:54 pm (UTC)Effie had immediately assumed that his admission had also been their closure, would he have told her otherwise? ]
Then what is it, Saul?
Did you simply come here to tell me you're in love with two women, and don't plan on choosing either one... or did you come to apologize, and stay the night?
[ She was offering him something he likely didn't deserve, but it was better than being hurt and certainly better than being alone. Effie wasn't perfect, she had done many things in her life she had come to regret... It would be hypocritical to not accept failure or misjudgement in others. ]
no subject
Date: 2013-09-29 10:16 pm (UTC)But —
Saul sighs, lifts a hand to his forehead, pushes his hair back and away. He knows as surely as he's known anything that if it ever came down to it, he'd choose Stephanie every time. So really, he can say he hasn't made a decision, but that's bullshit.]
I'm sorry, Eff. I'm not being fair to you.
no subject
Date: 2013-09-29 10:41 pm (UTC)[ Somehow Effie had known he would say that, or something similar. She simply sits back and looks at Saul evenly.
It wasn't fair. She wanted to ask him who it was, why he had chosen them- why she hadn't been good enough. He had ruined her concept of love, which was something whole that couldn't be undermined or lesser in any way. You couldn't love two people, not really. You couldn't give all of yourself to someone and still have enough leftover to be tempted by another.
Effie had been foolhardy to allow herself to feel this way over a man she had only just met, in a place like this. It was a lesson better learned sooner than later, and the wound would be a reminder to never let such a thing happen again.
She didn't need any of these people, and they didn't need her. Life would continue as it always had and looking out only for herself would be so much easier. At least that's what she told herself. ]
And it's Ms.Trinket to you, Mr.Goodman.
Now if you don't mind, it's very late and I should like to get some sleep after all this unpleasantry.
no subject
Date: 2013-09-30 12:55 am (UTC)Hope really is dangerous.
He opens his mouth to say something else — anything else, anything to convince her that he really didn't mean to hurt her the way he has — but instead he stands, smoothing down his shirt.]
Yeah. I'll see you around.
[And if that's it, if that's really it, he's just going to see himself out.]